PreschoolRock.com Forum

Any tips to get a preschooler to clean his room? I've tried the obvious like taking the toys away, making it fun, etc. Nothing seems to motivate my oldest son to clean his room. The only way he'll pick up anything is if you help him! Ahhh. Messy room driving me crazy!

By the way, he has no problem cleaning up at school! Just at home.

I have the same problem with my 3 year old. We started a responsibility chart that includes: brush teeth, feed dogs, take vitamins, feed fish and...pick up all toys in living room before bedtime. The last one never gets done! Even if we try to help her, she refuses. The only times she has actually done it herself is when we threatened to not get ice cream the next day.

We also have tried making it fun, bribery, forcing, helping her put things away, etc. But nothing seems to work.

I would also like to hear some suggestions!

I hear ya.............My son actually did it ONE time cause he wanted to playdoh. But that was the only time. He WILL pick up if I sit in his room with him, but he is sooooooooo slow that I have to sit there two hours and I don't have time for that. I resorted to trying to just get him to keep his toys in his room, not the living room. But that doesn't help either.

It all depends on your child's age. I teach preschoolers- and we usually help the younger ones (2 1/2 -3) clean up. Hand them specific things to put away, and remind them where it goes...Here's your car, can you put it in the blue basket, etc.
The older preschoolers can do more on their own. It definately helps if you try to teach them to put something away before taking something else out. Make sure everything has a specific place...and don't feel bad... they ALL clean better at school than at home! You should be proud that they at least do that! That means you've taught them well!!

I had the same problem. I found that if I help him just a little, but not every time, then reward him for his "work", he is more motivated to do it on his own the next time. It's something I've had to ween him from (my helping him, that is), just in time to start over again with his little brother. Oh, joy!

What's even harder is that now he, (the eldest), is starting to realize "hey, I didn't mess up the whole play-room, where's my brother to help me clean it?"

So little brother got thrown under the bus a bit early and is learning how to put toys away.

The best part (aside from a huge (by San Diego standards) back yard) is that I've got a playroom for them. They have only books and a very small handful of toys in their rooms. Well, until the dog drags them (usually two at a time) to their room for a good chewing. There's no TVs in their rooms either. (evil grin)

Ok, I've rambled enough. Good luck getting their rooms cleaned!

You're too funny! When my son was born we converted the office into his room and it had a TV in it. My hubby wanted to leave the TV in the NURSERY! He thought for those late night feedings a TV would be handy (ask me how many late night feedings he was actually involved in!). Because the bright flashing lights of a TV in a dark room are very soothing to newborns! Needless to say, that didn't happen! I'm holding strong to the "no TV in the bedroom" rule!

Oh, the joys of books and toys littering the floor, bed, dining room table.... Of course I have no solution, but it does seem to help if I give VERY specific instructions. Instead of saying something generic like, "Please put your toys away", I have to say something like "Please pick up the blocks and put them in the purple bin." And then only expect that they'll do a couple of things. Build little by little. Cheer the block success, then don't have them do anymore. The next day, pick up the blocks and then put all the stuffed toys in the animal bin (or on the shelf or wherever you keep them). It does really help to have designated areas for toys - and they have to be EASY for the child. No lids or covers to have to deal with. No doors to open and close. You'll need to help them out for awhile (as you've been doing anyway - be in the room with them, just don't do it for them), but then as time goes on they'll know how to "clean up" themselves. You'll be able to say "put the blocks away" instead of "put the blocks in the purple bin". Eventually "Put your toys away". And then maybe even "clean your room"? Wouldn't that be nice!

For what it's worth, I also stumbled across this website. http://www.housefairy.org
I haven't tried it, so I can't say whether or not its any good...but when it comes to cleaning up, I think we'll try ANYTHING!

Good luck, and if you have any success, POST IT!

It's more of a shift in the parent's attitude than the kids at first. If a person appears grumpy about cleaning, the kids will pick up on that and immediately assume that cleaning is a real bummer. If you hear yourself complaining about something needing cleaned, everyone else hears the complaining too. If YOU obviously don't want to do it, there's a good chance that your kids won't be overly excited about it either. Complaining leaves a bad vibe in the air—not a good selling point.

If a parent makes something sound like a really big deal, it becomes even bigger in a child's mind. If it's a big, negative deal, it may become even more negative for a kid. A positive attitude sets a much more pleasant stage for others to walk out on. Set the example you would like others to follow.

There is definitely a transition period after a proclamation like "NO MORE CHORES" is given. For a kid it may be like being set free from prison, and for awhile they may want to push their newfound freedom to the limit. But slowly, cleaning and picking up will be no big deal, as long as the parents are not making it a big deal. My kids do a lot more picking up now than they did a couple of years ago, and there are more and more days when I get home and the dishes have been run, the counters are wiped down, and the house is almost....clean. Not everyday, but there are days when I don't want to do it either. And some days I don't. The kids have that same right.

Plan on doing most of the cleaning for awhile. Better yet, plan on doing ALL of the cleaning for awhile, and whenever someone else pitches in, you may appreciate it more. Try not to look at it as "I have to do it all!", because you don't have to do it all. There's always a choice. If you don't feel like cleaning today, then don't. Will the house get messier? Yup. Is it a big deal? Shouldn't be. During "de-choring" your house is going to be messier. It's a fact. But little by little things will change, and you will notice things getting done that you didn't have to do and didn't have to demand done. It won't happen overnight. It probably won't happen in three months. It may not happen in the first year if a parent walks in day after day, exasperated with the fact that a room isn't clean and tidy. When you say to your kids, "hey, why didn't you clean that up?", the first thing that may go through their minds is, "well why didn't you?" It works both ways.

Cleaning doesn't have to be a big deal. Don't make it a big deal and your kids may be more inclined to follow in your footsteps.

We try and make things a game. I will say "I bet I can clean the living room up before you get your room picked up!" My kids go crazy. They love it and forget about the work. I do think that when there is too much to pick up, a preschooler gets overwhelmed. So, sometimes you have to break down the process into - pick up blocks, then pick up cars, etc. I do feel it is extremely important that children from 18 months on help with clean up in even the smallest way.