I have been having a very frustrating time with my preschooler (Emily age 3) not answering my questions when I ask them. For instance, "would you like to go play in the back yard?" - no answer! I ask again and still no answer. I make her stop what she is doing and look at me when I ask the third time and she will usually come up with a sentence that has no relevance to the situation like "My dog wants some more water."

I know that her hearing is OK because if I ask her if she wants a cookie, she answers swiftly with a 'yes.' I thought maybe she will only answer me when her answer is 'yes' but not if it is 'no.' That's not it either because as soon as I give up and go in the backyard without her (for instance), she immediately says "I want to come!"

Has anyone else had this sort of problem? How do I get a simple yes or no answer from my preschooler?

Well, yeah, my son has been doing that a bit lately-he is two. I just think it is them trying to test their and our limits. I just make him look at me while I repeat it and if we are having an issue, he will have to sit in Time-Out until he is ready to "do good listening."

Oh yeah, children will definitely test you! I have four kids, ages 9 to 17 and they're still doing things to see how far they can get away with them!

Could just be a "normal kid thing." Or...... My oldest son did have some minor speech and language issues between the ages of 2 and 4. (He did speech therapy through the public school system for two years, which is about much more than pronunciation.) Not answering questions or saying completely random things to questions asked was explained by the speech therapists as sort of a language processing problem. Basically, sometimes it takes them longer to process the question or find the words they need to answer the question (word retrival.) They said kids say random stuff in response to questions so they can buy more time answer the question or figure out what it means....Just something to think about.

Isn't this called "selective hearing?" (smile)

I don't ask yes or no questions. Instead, I will ask questions that force an answer... like "do you want to go outside or stay inside"? If still no response, first I make sure that I am really speaking TO them, and that they are really listening TO me- and then I ask the second time with a preface of  "I'm going to ask you one more time... and if you CHOOSE not to answer me..., this is what will happen...". That puts the responsibility of listening and answering- back onto them (this takes some Parental practice), but it can bring about great results if they know you are being consistent. It doesn't have to be grim- it can be done in a happy tone. Worked for me!

Much Success!

Pam in Seattle

x2 for giving choices instead of asking questions. Then, after making sure it's not a matter of not being heard, I often make the choice for them without a second opportunity. That way the get the idea that not answering will automatically result in it being my choice, and with any luck, after 20 or 30 episodes like this, they'll start to realize that, no matter what, I will be choosing the choice they would not have chosen.

That's one thing about my eldest, it may take him a long time to learn something, but he remembers it for hours!

My daughter has been getting bad with that. I used to get frustrated, but got over it. I do as Matt does - if I know I'm within hearing range (i.e., the child would come running for a cookie if so offered), then the offer is given only once. If I get no response, I go about my business (laundry or some such boring thing) and when my daughter starts to whine about wanting to go outside (or do whatever was offered), I say something along the lines of "well, then, it's too bad you didn't tell me that before." End it there. Don't get into a battle or negotiation. And certainly don't go outside (or whatever it is they want)! Just keep doing whatever it was you were doing. Eventually, your child will figure it out.

1. Yellow is the color of concentration.
2. There should be a table in the study room on which you will study.
3. Keep a pen stand on the table
4. There must be a table lamp on the table
5. Keep a closet in your study room where you will keep your school bag and your uniform. The room should look clean and properly organized.